The Amazing Freakin' Trip to California
by FlameBlaze
Summary: The Griffins travel to California, check out their trip. Rated M for Language, Violence and Sexual Content, No Flaming Please [UNCUT]
1. The Beginning

Chapter 1- "The Beginning"

The Griffins are at their house watching TV.

"Hey, wondering what places you should go for vacation? Well come to Los Angeles." The Guy on the TV says.

"Los Angeles, oh boy, we're going to Michigan." Peter says excitedly.

"What, Los Angeles is in California, Peter." Brian states correcting Peter.

"Yeah right, I mean everyone knows that LA is in Michigan, right Chris?"

"Yeah dad." Chris says happily.

"High five son." Peter says giving Chris a high five.

"Peter, Brian is right, I mean, why would Los Angeles be in Michigan if it's on the West Coast." Lois tells Peter.

"Fine, sheesh, now I have to be the dumb one here, I mean, how the hell is Los Angeles in California?" Peter asks the rest of the family.

"Oh actually it's quite simple fatman, it's in California dammit, and I mean it, now shut the hell up." Stewie says.

"Whoa, foul language Stewie, foul language, I mean, there is no need for such words." Peter says to Stewie. Peter then gets up to walk to the kitchen but Stewie trips him. "Ahh! You Ass-Lickin' Goddamn motherfucker."

"Peter, how do you say that to your own son?" Lois asks Peter.

"Easy Lois, you just say 'Ahh! You Ass-Lickin' Goddamn motherfucker.'"

Lois looks at Peter angrily.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know I was suppose to say that? I am so sorry."

"You know Peter, maybe we should go to Los Angeles, it'll be good for the family, you know?" Brian says to Peter.

"Yeah, matter of fact, the Griffins are going to Los Angeles in two days."

"Oh Peter, that'll be wonderful." Lois says.

"Yeah, maybe I'll be able to get a makeover again." Meg says.

"Hell no, after what happened last time?" Peter says.

"Oh come on dad."

"Fine, you can get the makeover."

"This will be great, maybe we'll be able to go see a basketball game and then travel to Compton." Chris says.

"Compton, oh yeah, where the gangs are, that'll be so great, maybe if I'm lucky I can get myself an AK-47." Stewie says.

"No, we are not going to Compton." Lois says.

"Yeah, I mean, you'll never know who or what you'll see. I mean you can take your first step in Compton and then you fall to the ground with a bullet in your heart." Peter says.

"I guess you're right fatman. I mean, we don't want to be shot up and die in a pool of blood." Stewie says.

Chapter 2, Coming Soon Everyone


	2. Los Angeles Lakers

Chapter 2- "Los Angeles Lakers"

The Griffins pack up and then they head to the airport to go to Los Angeles. They are now on the plan while it's flying to LA.

"This is so freakin' sweet I swear." Peter says.

"Yes it is Peter, you better enjoy it." Brian says.

"Oh yeah, and what if I don't you bitch?" Peter says.

"Hey, I'm a male you bitch." Brian replies.

"You're the bitch you bitch, because obviously, I'm also a male you son of a bitch."

"Hey bitch, I'm not a son of a bitch, wait, holy shit yes I am, well anyways, you're a son of a bitch, cause even though you're not a dog, you're the rapper's dawg, no what I'm saying?"

"What...the fuck...was that? Who the fuck is writing your lines?"

"Shut up you bitch."

"Okay, let's stop this from going any further I mean, we're good friends and we shouldn't really argue, plus we're on a plane."

All the people on the plane are looking at Peter and Brian.

"This is some good fucking shit." A Kid says but then he is smacked in the mouth.

"Wow Peter, I never expected that from you. Let's just cut the bullshit." Brian says.

"Yeah, you agreed with me, in your fucking face! In your fucking face? That reminds when you said to me 'In Your Fucking Face' when I found out when I was retarded."

"I can't believe I am like a best friend to this idiotic fucking asshole." Brian says.

"Oh don't worry dog, you've been embarassed already, the people are still looking at you." Stewie says.

"Aww, you bastard." Brian says to Stewie. "Nothing to see here folks, just a man talking to his dog, yeah, ever seen 'Corneil and Bernie?' Yeah, it's just like that."

The Griffins arrive in California.

"Wow, this place is awesome." Peter says.

"I never knew it would be this big, damn we've been in Quahog for way too long." Stewie says.

"Oh My God, it's Kobe Bryant." Meg says pointing to Kobe Bryant.

"Hey, a fan." Kobe Bryant says.

"Hey Kobe, you're playing a game tonight." Peter asks.

"Yeah, you should come see it."

"Okay, you'll see me there."

Later on while the Griffins unpacked their stuff at the hotel.

"Wow, what a nice hotel." Lois says.

"Yes, I agree it is very comfortable. It'll be funny if I can find a weapon in a nice hotel in LA like this one." Stewie says. He then looks under his bed and then he sees a gun. "Oh My God. I can't believe, I just, I just can't believe it. A Gun. And it's just not a gun, it's a P2K."

The Griffins are later at the Lakers Basketball game.

"Hey, where the hell is Shaq?" Peter asks.

"Didn't you know Peter, he was traded to Miami." Brian replies.

"What, oh hell no, goddamn, how did I not know that, I mean Jesus Christ, motherfucking shitty shit shit, bitch ass motherfucking dick sucking fucking assholes, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, GODFUCKIT! BITCHIN' FUCKHOLE." Peter screams out. Suddenly, the basketball game stops and everyone is staring at Peter. "What, what the shit did I do?"

It is halftime and Peter and the rest of the family our outside the arena.

"You know, I can't believed we got kicked out because Shaq wasn't there and I kept screaming."

"I hoped you learned your lesson Peter, don't be such a fucking idiot when we go into a fucking arena." Brian says.

"Hey I wasn't acting like a fucking idiot, right Chris?"

"Of course not, my dad isn't a fucking idiot." Chris says and gives Peter a high five.

"You agree with me to, don't you Stewie?" Peter asks.

"Hahahahahahhahaha, hell no, there is no fucking way that I agree with yo ass, YOU FUCKING FATASS!" Stewie yells at Peter. "Wow, I never knew that day will come." Stewie says calmed down.

A Guard of the Staples Arena walks out.

"Okay, you're allowed back in. Just keep down the yelling." The Guard says.

Peter walks into a player's lockers and sees Kobe Bryant.

"Hey Kobe, you'll probably wondering what the hell am I doing here?"

"Yep, pretty much."

"Well, I hope you didn't take anything I was saying offensive, I'm just a huge Shaq fan."

"Fine, just don't let it happen again."

The 2nd Half of the game is being played and Kobe fouls someone.

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FOUL SOMEONE LIKE THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH, AND I'M ROOTING FOR SOMEONE THAT'S NOT IN LA, YEAH, TAKE THAT YOU ASSHOLE DICK SUCKER!" Peter screams.

"AHH!" Kobe starts running to Peter.

"OH GOD, GUARDS, A RAPIST IS AFTER ME."

"I'm not a rapist." Kobe says walking back to the court.

"K stands for Killer, O stands for Oppresion, B stands for Bitch and E stands for Eggface Assfuck, Crack Smoking Shithead, Potato Chip, Off the Old Fuckin' Block CockFuck, Son of a Bitch!"

"Hey, shut up asshole!" Kobe screams back to Peter as he approaches Peter.

"Oh God, A Basketball Player is imitating Ron Artest, oh please help me I'm only 42." Peter whines.

"Crap." Kobe says.

"Kobe has been charged for a defensive foul and a technical foul for inappropiate language." The Referee says.

"Crap."

The Griffins are returning to the hotel.

"It was a pretty nice game, but the Lakers got their ass kicked, oh wait, they won the game, SHIT!" Stewie says.

"Hey Stewie, this is Los Angeles, you suppose to root for them here." Peter says.

"You didn;t root for them dad." Meg says.

"Shut your fucking face you ugly bitch, no one was talking to you." Peter says.

The Griffins are back at the hotel and Peter and Lois are in the bedroom.

"You know Peter, sometimes you just, really get out of control." Lois says.

"What, how the fuck do I get outta control?" Peter asks.

"You called Meg an ugly bitch. What kinda fucking father calls his motherfucking daughter an ugly bitch?"

"Oh, you slipped Lois."

"Oh damn you. Shut off the lights so we can just have sex."

The lights goes off and all you hear are strokes.

"Ohh Peter."

The next day comes and Peter and Brian are watching TV.

"Wow, there are some great channels they have in LA, but every channel is different, I'm not sure which is which." Peter says.

"Yeah, I know what you're saying." Brian says.

"No you don't."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Peter moons Brian.

"Kiss my ass, kiss my ass, kiss my ass, kiss my ass, kiss my ass, kiss my ass, kiss my motherfucking ass!" 


	3. Streetz of Compton

Chapter 3- "Streetz of Compton" 

The Griffins are watching TV at the hotel.

"Hey Peter, why don't we ditch LA for just a little bit?" Brian whispers to Peter.

"What, you want to travel to Compton?" Peter asks.

"Aw, what the hell, I'm up for it."

"Hey, let's take Stewie and Chris and teach them how to become men."

"Fine, whatever you say Peter."

Peter starts talking to Lois and Meg.

"Well girls, me, Brian, Chris and Stewie are going out for a little while."

"We are?" Stewie asks.

"Yeah, we'll be back in a few." Peter says as the four walks out of the hotel.

"Come on fatman, where are we going?" Stewie asks.

"Stewie, we're going to Compton."

"Compton, oh yeah."

"Compton? Won't we get in trouble from mom?" Chris asks.

"That's why we're not telling her, I mean, if she doesn't know, what the hell can she do, have sex with Meg or something?"

"Peter, you don't suppose to say things about your wife like that." Brian says.

"Well Brian, I'm alone right now and even if I love her, right now I consider myself single with my 2 sons and my dog."

"Whatever. I'm just going to take a smoke." Brian lights a cigarette and starts smoking.

"You know dog, if you start smoking weed when we get to Compton, I am going to beat you up, I am going to go wild." Stewie says.

"Go Wild, yeah, I can see the show 'Faggot Gone Wild.' You know, you can go wild all over other boys and men and then when they knock you out, I'm going to be laughing, straight in your face, and you know why? Because you're the only 1 year old faggot the world's ever seen, sorry ass son of a bitch."

"Oh fuck you." Stewie says.

Peter is driving to Compton and they arrive.

"Oh My God, we're in Compton." Peter says.

"Yes Peter, we're in Compton." Brian says.

They get out the car and start walking around.

"Hey look it's Dr. Dre and the Game." Brian says pointing to them.

"HEY, WHO THE FUCK IS THAT POINTING AT US?" Game says.

"Look's like this white fat bitch with his two sons and his damn dog." Dr. Dre says.

"Ahh who gives a fuck, let's shoot those motherfuckers."

"Fuck'em up."

A Gang just comes out with guns in their hands and starts shooting at Peter, Stewie, Brian and Chris. They start running away.

"I can't believe it, I'm getting shot at from a gang in Compton, oh hell, this is great, really, really, great. I'm loving it. I'm loving it."

"Shut the fuck up Stewie, we're getting shot at." Brian says.

"Hey look, our car." Peter says. They jump in and start driving off. The car's windows are shot at and one of the tires are shot flat. "Damn." They then see four gang members coming in a car and they come next to the car. They start doing drive-bys.

"Hell yeah, keep shooting us dammit, keep shooting us. This is great."

"AHH!" Peter screams as the car flips over. "Damn, I have to return this to. This is so not fair."

The gang members turn around finishing shooting the car with last shots. The four then pushes the car up and they drive back to LA. They return to the hotel looking like they got beat up.

"Oh My God, Peter, what happened?" Lois asks looking surprised with Meg.

"Let's just say we encountered gangs in uh, uh, uh?"

"Oh for the love of God, we were in a fucking shootout in Compton." Brian screams.

"Compton?" Meg asks.

"YEAH YOU LOUSY BITCH, NOW GO CHILL IN YOUR FUCKING HOTEL ROOM!"

Chapter 3 Coming Soon


End file.
